


The Strength of Emotion

by SpacePenguin11



Category: Red Dwarf
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-05
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-07 06:59:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15903222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpacePenguin11/pseuds/SpacePenguin11
Summary: When Rimmer gets into one of his rages, how is it that Lister alone has the power to bring him back to reality?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at a Red Dwarf fanfic, so I hope it’s ok! Mild slash

Listed pinched the bridge of his nose and Kryten looked up anxiously from his laundry folding. The crashing noises and swearing seemed to be getting louder by the minute.

Cat appeared in the doorway brandishing his hair dryer. “My hairdryer just exploded! What gives?”

“It’s Rimmer”, sighed Lister, he’s in another one of his rages.” Almost as soon as he had finished speaking, the lights in the room began to flare and dim. Sustaining hard-light holograms required an incredible amount of power, and so it was normal for electronic devices to malfunction when Rimmer’s bee was overloading.

“Well I’m trying to do my hair!” Cat moaned. “And after that I’m gonna need my catnap, and you know what happens if I don’t get my sleep! Can’t you do something about the noise, bud?!”

“He’s just having a bad day” said Lister, wincing as another loud crash was heard.

“If I may venture to say sir, perhaps you should attempt to placate him as I worry very much for the state of the ship.” Kryten said as he folded Listers underwear.

Lister sighed..why did it always come down to him to calm Rimmer down, it wasn’t so bad when he was soft-light, but the hard-light drive Legion had granted him, made these violent rages so much more destructive, and in some cases dangerous. Lister thought back to the week before, when he had very nearly had a refrigerator inserted in his rear end. 

“I wonder what’s upset him this time...”

Cat piped up. “No clue buddy, all I know is one minute I’m telling him how much his family hated him, and the next he storms on out of here!” 

Both Lister and Kryten stared at him. Cat retained his innocent facial expression and replied “What did I say now??”

At this Lister lost his temper, “What the bleedin hell were you thinking of!? You NEVER talk to Rimmer about his family, EVER!” At this Cat shrank back a bit , “Sorry bud”, he said. sounding almost genuinely apologetic, “I was just trying to make conversation.”

“Fan-smeggintastic! So now I’ve gotta go in there and clear up your mess!?” Lister stormed out of the room and set off to find Rimmer.

In the wake of Lister’s exit, Kryten gave Cat a long hard stare to which the feline replied “Why’s everyone lookin’ at me funny today?!”

Lister wandered down the corridor following the sound of Rimmers rage, thinking why does the universe see fit to grant the angriest member of the crew with inhuman strength and, on top of that, make him completely indestructible?”  
He finally located the source of the noise in the canteen closest to their bunk room.

The canteen was in chaos, tables and chairs had been upended, vending machines pulled off the walls and smashed. Lister was also horrified to see a fist mark in the wall. He did a quick sidestep to avoid the exploding light bulb above his head.

Much to his relief, Rimmer seemed to have ceased his destruction, for the time being anyway. The hologram was sat in the corner of the canteen facing away from him. Lister ventured cautiously in and said the most neutral thing he could think of.

“Hey man, how you doin?”  
He was met with silence, the only sound being that of another lightbulb exploding overhead.  
The silence continued for about five minutes or so, Lister standing with his hands in his pockets, waiting for Rimmer to speak up. His question hadn’t incurred a reaction, and on those occasions it was usually better to let Rimmer speak first. Which he did eventually.

Still facing away from the scouser he said “Did you know I was a mistake Lister? “

Lister remained silent, unsure as to how to reply.

“Yes, I was the result of a failed birth control device, one of IOs so-called cutting edge contraceptive treatments” 

“Rimmer man..”

“I couldn’t even get my own conception right could I Lister! And they never let me forget it, I was made to feel like a burden throughout the whole of my childhood. It’s not that I didn’t try to meet their expectations, I wore myself out doing it, but i just wasn’t good enough.”

“Rimmer man don’t take any notice of Cat.”

Rimmer cut him off again, this time raising his voice. “But he was right though wasn’t he! My brothers were all they ever wanted! Three sons! Three perfect boys! Their wonderful family was complete! And then I came along and ruined everything! Because that’s what I do Lister isn’t it!? I ruin everything!!”  
At this he suddenly charged at Lister, pinning him against the wall with his hands on his wrists.

“Why wasn’t I good enough Lister? Why was I never good enough!” The power began fluctuating again, and Rimmer’s projection began to flare brighter.

A frightening thought flashed through Listers mind 

“Why the smeg did I agree to come in here by myself without backup? Is he actually gonna kill me this time?”

He struggled against the holograms grip, even though he knew how futile it was. He seriously considered calling Kryten in. The mechanoid had some degree of strength, he really didn’t think it matched Rimmers though. He was still struggling to push Rimmer away, when he noticed holagrammatic tears forming in the taller man’s eyes.  
Completely incapable of overpowering him physically, Lister attempted something else instead. He looked Rimmer square in the eye and said in the most comforting voice he could muster up.

“It’s ok Rimmer...Look at me..LOOK at me!”

Hazel reluctantly met the dark chocolate gaze, and something in his expression changed. He eased off some of the pressure he had on Lister’s wrists, not enough for Lister to get free, but at least the pain in his wrists began to subside.

“It’s ok to hurt Rimmer, it’s perfectly ok, everybody feels pain now and again, you don’t have to bottle it up. I’m here for you man, I always have been.” 

Rimmer seemed to see something in Listers eyes, and in an instant, he removed his hands from Listers wrists and pulled him into a hug.  
The shock of it hit Lister like a wave! Rimmer hugging him? He could feel the hologram trembling with what could only have been a mixture of rage and upset.

“Rimmer man ease up a little, you’re hurting my back”

Rimmer relinquished his grip slightly and Lister found himself relaxing into the hug. It was quite a nice hug he found himself thinking. Rimmer was soft and warm. It was comforting to be held in such a tight embrace. But this was Rimmer? Smeghead Rimmer? He should be finding this repulsive, but he felt as if he could have stayed in that embrace forever. It had been a long time since he’d had any form of physical contact that’s all it was, nothing more...or was it?

He didn’t have time for any more considerations, as Rimmer abruptly pulled back from him, he looked dazed as if he had just woken up in this very position. The hologram surveyed the damage in the room, took a quick look back at Lister, and then promptly disappeared into his light bee. Lister could only stand there dumbfounded as the metal device hit the floor with a solid clonk.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 2! A little more slash.

The next day Kryten found Dave in his bunk room watching some Zero G football discs he had managed to salvage from the last derelict. The scouser was rubbing gently at the bruises on his wrists which hurt a lot more than he cared to admit. Rimmer’s light-bee sat next to Lister on the bottom bunk. Cat was in the corner washing his clothes (or what HE referred to as washing). 

“Mr Lister sir, I thought I would come and check on Mr Rimmer, to ensure that his bee is still functioning correctly.” Rimmer had been “offline” (which was the easiest way of putting it) all of the previous night and most of the morning.

“He’s fine Kryten”, Lister sighed in an exasperated tone “The blue lights flashing, he’s just refusing to come out.”

“Every cloud huh!?” exclaimed Cat grinning.

“Perhaps you should try talking to him sir?”

“What do you think I’ve been doing all morning Kryten? He’s not coming out! I don’t know what else to do!”

Exasperated, Lister picked up the light-bee and headed up to the observation dome. He and Rimmer had had many heart to hearts up there over the years and he hoped that maybe up there, with it just being the two of them, that Rimmer might “come out of his shell” so to speak.  
Sure enough after five minutes had passed, Lister felt the telltale static in the air and Rimmer materialised, looking very awkward.

“Look Lister I must apologise for my behaviour yesterday, it was a weakness on my part...”

“Which bit are you apologising for? Destroying the canteen? Pinning me up against a wall? Or hugging me?”

Rimmer stared sheepishly back  
“All of it?” he paused “But mainly the hug.”

Lister sighed “Look man it was just a hug ok? It’s ok for guys to hug you know?” 

But was it just a hug? Listers treacherous mind began taking him down a road he really didn’t care to go down, he shrugged the feeling off.

“It really gets to me though sometimes Listy, I mean what have I really done with my life? I’ve never amounted to anything career wise, I have no luck with women! I never had children! Where’s my legacy lister?” 

Rimmer was staring up at the stars, a folorn look gracing his features.

“You know Rimmer, I’ve never really had any of those things either”

Rimmer huffed “You’ve had a ton of girlfriends Lister, you’re forever bragging about it!”

“Yeah but the relationships never lasted”,  
Lister moved closer to Rimmer. 

“I had the promise of something really good and I messed it up everytime. And my careers a joke! I’ve spent the majority of my life as a “space bum” Rimmer, how do you think that makes me feel?”

“Well you have children!” Rimmer said

“Rimmer it’s not exactly the perfect family life, I’ve got no involvement in their life. I can’t watch them grow up.” 

“But you agreed that...”

“I know that they’re better off where they are Rimmer but that doesn’t stop me feeling like I failed as a father.”

“You mean a mother.”

“Whatever Rimmer, the point is I have my share of regrets just like you.”

Rimmer was silent for a moment and then he turned to face Lister. God those eyes, Lister thought and had to once again bring his brain back to where it was supposed to be.

“You were left abandoned under a pool table weren’t you Listy?”

Lister nodded, still unable to break the taller mans gaze. Had there always been flecks of gold in amongst the hazel?

Rimmer broke the gaze by walking to the other side of the dome. “I know that about you, I’ve always known that and yet I still go on about my own life.”

“Rimmer man it’s fine...”

Suddenly Rimmer was walking towards him with a very strange look in his eyes, 

“It’s you, he said, as if this was some kind of big revelation. “It’s always been you.”  
Lister couldn’t fathom what he was implying.

“Why do you never get upset Lister? Why do you never throw things, or scream and shout?”

“I don’t really know Rimmer”, 

The hologram was so close now Lister could feel the heat radiating off his light-bed. Had he really felt THIS warm during their close encounter yesterday? Lister couldn’t remember. More importantly though, the close proximity was now doing funny things to his head...and other areas.

“Maybe it’s just easier to block it out, I don’t know..” Lister licked his lips nervously.

Rimmer was so close now their lips were almost touching,and Lister found himself pinned against the wall again, much less aggressively than the day before, but enough to keep him from going anywhere

“You have such power over me, you know that don’t you?” Rimmer whispered in his ear.

Lister shivered, he found that statement to be rather ironic given his current situation, but he was far too distracted by the pressure of the very warm body currently pressed up against him to give it more than a moments thought.

Rimmer pulled back from Lister’s ear and stared into his eyes

That was far too much for Lister to handle right now, and he tried to look anywhere but into the hologram’s beautiful eyes. He finally settled on the floor which seemed the safest bet. Rimmer, however, had other ideas. He gently cupped Lister’s chin, and brought it up so that the scouser had no choice but to make eye contact.

“You know as well as I do, if anyone else had walked into that room yesterday, I probably would have killed them, Well..dismantled them I suppose, in Kryten’s case.”

At this he licked a hot wet stripe from the base of Listers neck up to the shell of his ear. 

This was far too much, Lister began to feel a stirring down below. ‘Does he mean any of this, or is he just toying with me? What if it’s another holovirus?’

“But David Lister is the exception. Dave Lister is always the exception” purred the taller man. 

At this point Lister couldn’t take anymore, he closed the gap between them and placed a soft kiss on Rimmers lips. He didn’t know what the reaction would be. Normal Rimmer would have tensed up, or perhaps tried to run. This, however was a different Rimmer than he had seen before. This Rimmer seemed to be under some kind of spell. 

‘Is it my spell?’ he wondered to himself.

Well Rimmer didn’t react in any of the ways above, instead he placed both hands on Lister’s face as he deepened the kiss. 

It was a really good kiss at that, Rimmer had lovely soft lips and they were so very warm thanks to the hard-light simulation. Lister found himself completely lost in the sensation of it. Rimmer explored his mouth with a hot wet tongue, gently licked at the scousers parted lips and peppered kisses round the outside of his mouth.  
Lister lost the battle of standing upright, but Rimmer caught him and held him up as they both felt the outside world melt away.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter!

Eventually Lister gasped against the other man’s lips

“Need to breathe Rimmer.”

Rimmer obligingly backed off, a delightfully pink flush adorned his face, and his curls were sticking out every which way where Lister had ruffled them during the kiss. Lister found this unbearably endearing.

Rimmer didn’t speak.

‘Okay,’ thought Lister ’Guess it’s up to me to go first then.’

“What did we just do Rimmer?”

Rimmer looked at Lister as if the scouser had just spoken to him in a foreign language.

“We kissed Lister, locked lips, played tonsil hockey..”

“Yeah Rimmer I know what we did but...well was it ok? What we did I mean?”

“Well, did you enjoy it?”

“Did you?” 

“Well of course I did Lister!”

Lister allowed himself a little smile  
“It felt really nice actually.”

Rimmer smiled, a genuine smile, a smile very rarely seen  
“Yes it did.”

“Where did you learn that kissing technique man? I thought you had like no experience with women?”

“I haven’t” Rimmer replied promptly.

Suddenly it all dawned on Lister.

“Oh my god, you’re gay Rimmer!”

“Well of course I am, aren’t you?”

“No, I’m not gay!” replied the Scouser.  
‘At least I never used to be,’ he thought to himself.

“You’re not gay!?”

Lister shook his head.

“Oh my god,” Rimmer put his head in his hands.  
“I’ve taken advantage of you! I’ve corrupted you!” He began pacing the floor of the observation dome.

“Rimmer man stop pacing, I kissed you remember!”

The hologram did indeed stop his pacing and turned to Lister with a face full of confusion. 

“That’s right, you did. But if you’re not gay, then why did you?”

Lister didn’t really know why he had, it had just felt “right”. He’d never been remotely attracted to any man until Rimmer had had him up against the wall in the canteen. He shivered at the memory.

“I was convinced you were gonna do a runner when I kissed ya.”

“Why on Io would I do that?” replied Rimmer. “I would have thought my behaviour yesterday was a pretty strong hint that I wanted you in more than a friendly way!”

“Well you’ve got to admit your behaviours been a bit weird lately! I don’t know what’s going on in your head at the moment!”

The hologram turned to face him.  
“You’re what’s going on in my head, you’re like a drug Lister...you’re all I can think about lately.”

“Well I suppose if I’m being brutally honest, I’ve been having feelings about you. I’ve been thinking about you a lot the last couple of days, seeing you in a different light I guess.”

A pause and then.

”Rimmer, do you fancy me?”

“Of course I smegging fancy you you gimboid!” Rimmer snapped.  
“I’ve always fancied you!”

“Well then why did you go into hiding!” Lister raised his own voice.

After a long sigh Rimmer said

“ Because I was embarrassed at my behaviour yesterday. Because I knew that you could NEVER be interested in someone like me, and now I’ve discovered that you’re not even gay! Nice one Rimsy!”

Lister walked over to the hologram and took his hands, rubbing gentle circles on his knuckles. 

“Look Rimmer, I’ll be perfectly honest with you. I think I fancy you too.”

“Think?”

“It’s just all new territory that’s all, but I think I’d like to try some stuff out. I know for a fact that I definitely wanna kiss you again.”

Rimmer looked like a child on Christmas morning.

“Do you really mean that Listy?”

Lister cupped his hands on Rimmers face, “Yes I do” he said, planting a kiss on the holograms nose. The closeness was staring to feel really good until Rimmer pulled back with a look of concern on his face. 

“How did you get those bruises Lister?”

Ah smeg, thought Lister, he wasn’t really sure how to broach that subject.

“It’s nothing Rimmer”

“Well it’s doesn’t look like nothing! Give me your wrists!”

“Rimmer stop!” Lister made an attempt at keeping his wrists from the other mans grasp, but quickly gave up when he realised he’d never succeed.

“The thing is man, well Kryten got a bit brutal the other day when I messed up his laundry pile.”

“Don’t lie to me Lister, Kryten didn’t do this. It was me wasn’t it?”

Lister looked at the floor, hoping that would be answer enough. When he did finally look up, Rimmers eyes were filled with tears. It hurt Lister to look at him. This was a far cry indeed from the destructive maniac of the night before, it was the most vulnerable that Lister had ever seen the hologram.

“I’m so sorry Listy, I’m so sorry I hurt you, I didn’t realise.” He pressed soft kisses to the scousers wrists, as if he could somehow take back the pain he’d inflicted.

“It’s ok Rimmer,” he soothed stroking the other mans hair, surprised at how normal and natural that felt now. He felt an overwhelming desire to protect the trembling man in his arms. “I forgive you.” He kissed Rimmer’s H, surprised to find that it was warm like the rest of him, despite its metallic sheen.

“Hold me tight Rimmer”, he found himself saying, and when the hologram did, he heard a voice in his ear.

“You’re my safe place Listy.”

Lister smiled against Rimmmer’s ear.  
“And you’re mine.”


End file.
